How to Stop Struggling; Start Thriving

It seems that we all are struggling against what is. We are struggling to have more time, struggling to feel more relaxed,

Photo of Rena doing yoga in Hawaii

struggling to find our joy, struggling to be healthier, etc .. the list goes on and on.

What we really want is to thrive – To live with joy, balance, health and abundance. Yes?

The first and most important step to stop the struggle and start thriving is to soften. Softening is about letting go. It’s a surrendering into our life as it is right now. Not wishing it was different. Not asking ‘Why is this happening’ ‘Why am I not ____’.¬† It’s about acceptance.

“Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace.” ~Eckhart Tolle

We start thriving and creating peace and softness in our life when we accept ourselves and our life just as it is. Only then can we start to create change and start doing something different.

Until we soften, we are using all or energy and mental effort to ‘fight against’ what is. Until we soften we are full of negative thoughts focused on how much we don’t like our life or our current situation.

I know from personal experience. I use to feel stressed out and believed that anything I did was never good enough. I remember feeling like I was struggling to reach for something that was always just out of reach for me.

Yoga, meditation, and life coaching all helped me to surrender and soften into my life and into who I am Authentically. Once I softened I was able to feel my truth, see what I wanted and clearly know what to do next. It opened up my connection to my intuition and deeper wisdom.

Here are my top tips on Softening:

  • Breath into your belly often.
  • Close your eyes and feel your body.
    • Notice any tension. Breath into the tension.
  • Stretch and breath deeply.
  • Sigh.
  • Practice relaxing your face muscles.
  • Ask yourself how you are feeling right now.
  • Spend time in nature.
  • Walk barefoot in nature!
  • Meditate.
  • Practice being a gentle witness to your thoughts.
  • Look for 3 things to appreciate each day.
  • Repeat uplifting thoughts to yourself:
    • “I am supported.” “Everything is unfolding as it is meant to.”
  • Imagine/remember a moment of being supported.
    • What does it feel like (or look like) to you?
  • Sit quietly for 2 minutes each day and just BE.

Try ‘em! Tell me what you think. Please share a comment below.

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5 comments to How to Stop Struggling; Start Thriving

  • Doing my best at most of these steps. There is a lot in my life I have accepted. My past, the way I grew up and ugliness attached. I have accepted that we have lost everything we own and have had to start from the bottom with nothing in our mid 40′s, and I accept that I have fibromyalgia and arthritis and often feel 80 not 44. I work around and through all these with strength and if not grace then at least determination. What I can not seem to over come, let go, or accept is that because of our situation, and my health I am on the verge of loosing all my teeth. The dentist has flat out told me they are not worth saving.They are cracked, chipped,and the gums are receding horribly, plus there is bone loss. He will not work on them and due to lack of money I kind of just have to deal with the 24 hour a day pain, looseness and appearance till they fall out, and they will, front ones will go soon, they are worst.Then it is trying to afford dentures which is a whole other thing to deal with and overcome when it happens. I have overcome so much in my 44 years, but this one seems to just be the white elephant in the room and my life and will not go away no matter how much I embrace the now. I have done all I can, written every person, posted a page on my blog asking for help ( which I feel is demeaning to have to do) and have done my best to ignore it…but each time I forget myself and smile in a photo, each time I brush my teeth in the bathroom and wince, it all comes rushing back and crushes me that I did nothing to deserve this and everything I could to stop it and yet here it is. I just can not seem to accept that what is happening is suppose to be. I keep believing someone will come to my rescue and give me the gift of a healthy, beautiful smile..unfortunately my letters to Oprah have fallen onto deaf ears…but not giving up or in, even if I want to a lot of the days.

  • Mertie Koehring

    normally I really have a ball reading your blog.
    What you have created has become a daily reading routine for me.
    I know sometimes you don’t always renew your blog, but I still enjoy reading your latest post (when you have one).
    Thank you and I look forward to stopping by your blog tomorrow .

  • Thank you, Rena. I love what you have to say. I am a work in progress. What really hit home for me was when you said we need to soften and accept what life is rather than fighting against it. I don’t like my house, but I am going to use my energy to make it better instead of wasting time and dragging my spirit down on the negativity. I wonder if you are familiar with Robin Rose from the Salem area. She used to do seminars for our company and shares many of your philosophies on breathing and repeating calming statements. I must revisit your site more often, dear heart. @andreager on Twitter

    • Andrea,
      Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I love your application of my ideas to your home and making it better. And, as you said, we can drag our spirit down and waste time when we focus on what we don’t like. I am not familiar with Robin Rose in Salem. I’ll keep my eye out for her. Please do visit this site often. I’d love to see more comments from you. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts. It inspires other readers and me too!

      Warm wishes,

  • [...] tried reading inspiring books and talking to friends yet nothing seemed to ease my struggle. Most of my friends at the time didn’t ‘get it’ since I was living a successful [...]