Want Healthy Boundaries? Act like a Cat!

Last week on the monthly Get Unstuck call, I shared simple tips on Holding Healthy Boundaries and Stopping Negative Self Talk. In Earth Medicine, holding healthy boundaries is all about Cat Medicine. If you want healthy boundaries, act like a cat!

Photo of cat

Anytime you feel conflicted about how to act in a situation where you are unsure of your boundaries, especially if you are worried about hurting someone’s feelings —- ask yourself, “How would a cat act in this situation?”

When a cat feels like it, she leaves the room; she gets off your lap. She doesn’t apologize. She doesn’t ask for permission. She listens to her inner wisdom. If you try to pet a cat when she doesn’t’ want to be pet, she’ll swipe at you or leave. She’s not doing it to hurt your feelings or upset you. She’s honoring her own wishes. She’s communicating her needs to you. She’s telling you that it is her body and it is about her, not you.

Just like a cat it is your responsibility to honor your own internal wishes. We’ve been trained or taught to go against this instinct so it takes practice to get it back. To create healthy boundaries at first may seem uncomfortable and may seem like you are being selfish or mean, because it is going against what you were brought up to believe. It goes against ‘being nice’. Those close to you in your life my not like it, at first. Yet, for your own sanity and your own peace of mind, you must start doing something differently … if you want different results.

Use these 3 tips to hold healthy boundaries in the heat of the moment when someone is ‘pushing your buttons.’ You may want to do just one of the the 3 tips or you may need to do all three.

3 Healthy Boundary Tips – Act Like a Cat:

  1. Be a silent witness – often you will find a cat simply watching you. Simply surveying her domain and what is happening. She watches. She waits. She listens. Only after witnessing does she decide to act in one of the two manners below.
  2. Leave the room – when a cat is annoyed or done. She leaves the room. If you need time to yourself or to cool down. Simply leave the room. Take time to collect your thoughts and then return to communicate your needs.
  3. Communicate your needs – after a cat has been a silent witness she will then communicate her needs. A cat may do this with a swipe, a meow, a purr, or she may climb in your lap for a cuddle or she may just curl up and go to sleep. We on the other had can use our words to communicate what we need from others. Don’t expect others to read your mind or automatically know what you need. Clearly and compassionately let them know what you need.

What more tips? Join us on the next Get Unstuck call!

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What helps you hold healthy boundaries? Please share a reply below.

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